Real People?

I am very frustrated with women, specifically moms. What's up with all the "I need to find out who I am" and "I am no longer a real person" and "I need to find me buried in all this mom stuff" kind of talk!?! I find this sad.

First, notice the focus of all these statements and similar sentiments. "I, I, I". Scripture is pretty clear that we are to consider others better than ourselves. It's pretty clear we are to serve our families. The root of "finding yourself" can be very self-centered and self-serving.

Second, life is changing constantly. From infancy, people change. Milk to solids. Diapers to toilets. Home to school. Elementary to middle school, to high school, to college. Single-hood to marriage. Then to motherhood (preferably following this order.) Once motherhood strikes, there is a sense of mourning women go through. The cause could be too many expectations on mothers working both in and out of the home, the problem women have with being perceived as perfect, or many others. The cause is not really the point here. Why the the mourning of what was? I have seen many family members and friends go through divorce because of mourning the previous chapter of life.

Third, this leads to discontentment. Looking back and wishing life were the same before the kids rocked your world, or longing for the days when you didn't have to be concerned with a husband and his needs, can really mean you are not available in the present. You are not thankful for the present. You may become bitter towards those you are supposed to love and serve.

So do me a favor, mothers and wives: get over yourself, stop mourning for the past, and be thankful for the present while looking forward to what God has for you in the future! I am not saying you shouldn't have moments away from your kids like girls' night out, dates with your husband, shopping all by yourself--all ways to rejuvenate so you can get back to business: serving God and serving others, your family being first among the "others".

When playing with my two boys several years ago (the third was not born), they wanted to pretend. So, one said, "Mommy, you are not a mommy in this game, you are a real person." I had to laugh at his idea/description of motherhood as compared to everyone else. He was not even four years old.

Mothers should not have the same perspective as 3 1/2 year old.