I have been asked several times if our purpose of being foster parents is to adopt. Are you planning on adopting? Are you open to adopting? Will you adopt? How will you not adopt someone you have become attached to? These are valid questions albeit difficult ones to answer.
Adoption is wonderful. I have adopted family members. I will have more adopted family members, from both sides of the family tree. Adoption is a key theme of the gospel itself. I am adopted into God's family through Jesus. BUT....
If we adopt, we can't foster. Bottom line. Our small, less than 1400 sq. ft. house would not be certifiable for fostering if we add a permanent child, giving us 4. We wouldn't be able to provide this child with his/her own bedroom (a requirement). Adoption would end this ministry until we either bought a bigger house (which we can't afford), or one of my children moved out. BUT...
Is adopting "better" than fostering? Is giving one child a permanent mommy, daddy, brothers, grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, a sense of belonging, etc. better than being a temporary advocate for a child who needs help?
Though I have no clear-cut answers for these questions, here are some thoughts:
- When fostering, one of the goals is reunification. I hope to see the families of these foster children grow, learn, and accept Jesus then reconcile with the child God blessed them with.
- When fostering, a goal is that a negative parenting cycle can be broken. This can change the entire life course for these families and their children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, etc.
- When fostering, a goal is to stay open to the idea of adoption and follow the Holy Spirit's leading. He knows if adopting one child is the correct path for the Lytle Lodge, or if keeping the Lodge open for fostering is more fruitful for His Kingdom.
So, because I don't know for certain and because I serve an omniscient God, I can rest in the fact that I don't know which is "better".
But I know both are good.
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