PSL Rant

By PSL I do NOT mean:

• Personal Seat License, though it is football season and I could write a post about this quite easily
• Party of Socialism and Liberation.  I certainly do not think socialism is a liberating way of governing, by the way.  Good in theory.  Disaster in practice.  History is on my side on this one.
• Physical Science Laboratory.  I know this was the first thing that popped in your mind when reading the title.
• Pretty, Solid, Liar.  Yes,  I just made that up.  

By PSL, I am referring to the overrated, overpriced, and overloved hot drink that many people consider the ushering of the fabulous season of autumn:  the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte.  

Let me give you some solid reasons for my dislike of this drink.

1. It is overpriced.  Everything at Starbucks is.  I used to love the Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks.  So when my students' parents give me a gift card for Christmas or Teacher Appreciation Week, I always take advantage of buying the drink.  I will not stop using my gift cards for this drink.  I will think of the sweet support of the parent and his/her sweet child with every bittersweet sip. BUT, have you ever had Panera's caramel latte?  No comparison.  So much better, and so much cheaper.  Do yourself a favor and compare them.  (Or contrast them.)  You are welcome.
2. Autumn is way too fabulous, way too beautiful, and way too wonderful to consider it "here" by the serving of this one drink. It takes considerably more to introduce this joyful time of year.  Autumn, or "fall" as it is termed by those who do not embrace its grace and beauty as much as I, deserves a myriad of usherings.  If you love PSL from Starbucks and want to include it as a tiny part of the Great Awakening of this time of year, then go for it.  But please do not diminish Autumn through simplifying it by the serving of this drink.  
3. In conjunction with number 2, PSLs make an appearance when it's still really hot.  The calendar may trick the unobservant, the simple-minded of us who say it's "fall", but the Great Season of Autumn has not arrived until the air conditioner can be turned off and windows can be opened.  Fresh, outdoor air gives the house a comfy feeling during the day, and a brisk feeling at night.  Autumn can even be smelled.  Geography affects the Great Arrival more than the calendar, so if you live in an area of the country where PSLs are served at the same time as the Arrival, then this one does not apply to you.  (However, refer to #1 and #2 above.)  
4. Pumpkin Spice is gross.  I know this is a matter of opinion. But, if I had three hot drinks for a taste test, and one had pumpkin spice, one had all spice, and one had just chocolate or caramel, I think people would prefer the ones without that "spice" flavor.  People like the idea of this drink.  They may even develop a taste for it, much like alcohol. (Rarely do people like the taste of a beer their first time drinking one.)  But, overall, this is being purchased because it's for a limited time, and people feel like they must have it while they can.  It's kind of like the McRib.  They are really gross. People would stop buying them if they were served all year.  The "limited time" thing sucks them in like a fish on a hook with a piece of McRib that smells like pumpkin spice.  Beware, my friends.  Don't bite it.  Don't bite.
5. Finally, Autumn's Arrival includes all the senses, not just taste.  And each sense has to be experienced on a multitude of levels.  So, if you insist on using PSLs as a part of the Autumn Experience, then go ahead.  Please do not post a tweet or status update that punches Autumn in the face like:  "Got my PSL from Starbucks!  Fall is here!"  Respect Autumn more than that.  It deserves it.

Time for a milkshake, because it's 95 degrees, and my AC is on.